Dealing With Your Man’s Humanity

Have you struggled in the past to understand your man and to be patient with him? Have you been

rolling your eyes when you think about him and his way of doing things?

In this blog you are going to learn useful tips on how to deal with his humanness-his quirks as you

grow in your role of a Godly partner. So if you've ever found yourself wondering if you and your man

are speaking 2 different languages this is the blog to bookmark to come back to whenever you need it.

Men are humans too-they forget, they fail, they are absent minded.

How many times have you had to repeat yourself? How many times has that led you to believe that

he doesn’t listen neither did he hear because what you said wasn’t important or maybe worse than

that you may think you aren’t important?

Ladies, take heart studies show that it doesn’t matter if the man is 30 or 60-he is forgetful no matter

his age. And guess what? It isn’t deliberate. He does not do it on purpose.

We already know this, but it is good to point out that men forget far more than women-we know

that right?

That’s why it is so annoying when they forget what you just said or what you have said a hundred

times. Right?

The constant question of why didn’t he remember that? Why didn’t he remember when he should

know that remembering my birthday is important to me. Or why didn’t he remember what my

favourite meal is?

Ok, my husband took a really long time to remember that I don’t eat ripe bananas and every time he

offered me one or suggested that I could eat 1 whenever I said I wanted a fruit I got mad.

Until I really asked myself-what is the real reason behind my anger?

The truth is I felt insecure-could it be that he doesn’t really love me? If he did, he would remember,

right?

Wrong.

Instead, I got over myself and then choose (well, almost) every time to simply remind him that I

don’t eat ripe bananas and he would say, oh yes, have this instead

So Ladies, what to do when your man is forgetful?

Give the man some grace- yes, some unmerited favour that he didn’t earn.

Be patient- respond in love (it will take time but we keep pressing toward that mark as Paul so

wonderfully describes in Phillipians 3:14)

Having done this there is no guarantee that he will remember all you say the next time around, but if

he doesn’t don’t take it personally.

That is the issue. Life isn’t all about you and your need to be at the centre of everything. You forget

too, right? Remember that deadline you missed? Or the gift you promised but didn’t remember to

get? Come down. Keep working at it. You will feel better and you will not get worked up about his

forgetfulness.

No surprise there, right ladies?

When you want to talk about important matters- your dreams, your goals or even if you want him to

talk about issues that are important to him-

He sometimes says too little or nothing at all.

You may be left frustrated, or you may feel ignored.

Ladies, here’s my advise: Give what you want.

Draw the conversation out of him.

With each response add a question or make a comment and ask him what he thinks about it. Keep

doing it- don’t get weary.

The aim is to get him talking because you want to know what he thinks. He will overtime appreciate

that 1-word answers don’t satisfy you and this in turn should encourage him to talk more.

The worse thing to do is to feel hurt, throw insults or become cynical. Or give the silent treatment.

Never talk down instead talk up- take the one-word answers and make them into the conversation

by building on it piece by piece.

What are you doing?

You are creating a safe space for communication to develop and grow. Your partner should never

feel like his thoughts are foolish just because they are different from yours or not as indepth and

well thought out.

Here we go again.

For some of you ladies you may view men as rough, untrustworthy and maybe a little bit selfish. You

may have in your mind that you can’t let your guard down, so you hold back and because you think

that way you aren’t gentle with him. You are not as caring as you could be, and you know it.

You think he has an emotional deficit and because of this you think that he doesn’t feel lonely or feel

neglected. But he wants to be hugged just as much as you. He wants to be respected. He wants to be

on the receiving end of your affections.

Ladies, men are also emotional meaning they have emotions too just like you and he may be secretly

wishing that he was the centre of your world where you give your affections to him freely. He wants

to know that he is loved for himself not because of what he may own or where he works or who his

friends are or what he can give you materially.

He doesn’t want to have to earn your love by giving you gifts or taking you out to fancy places

although he will do so.

He wants to be assured that your love is unconditional first so that he can feel safe to be himself.

He is fully aware that he is not perfect but he hopes that he is perfect in your eyes.

So, what to do?

Give him love as liberally as you would like to receive it.

Appreciate him as often as you would want to be appreciated

Encourage him daily just as you desire encouragement

Ladies, your man needs to know that you are in his corner; that you support him even if he needs to

improve in certain areas

Proverbs 31: 10-12 says Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of

her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the

days of her life.

As Kingdom women you can deal with your man’s humanity as you grow into your role as a Godly

partner. Remember:

It is really important to bear each other’s burdens-the failures and the struggles as said in Galatians

6: 2. It is important to have the attitude of being partners nurturing your relationship and growing

together individually and as a couple. Help each other excel. It’s not competition it is co-labouring.